How do you stop a guy from ejaculating too soon? - The Environmental Literacy Council (2025)

Premature ejaculation (PE) can be a frustrating and distressing experience for both men and their partners. The key to addressing PE lies in understanding its causes, exploring various techniques, and seeking professional help when needed. This guide offers a comprehensive overview of strategies to help delay ejaculation and improve sexual satisfaction. Here’s how to stop a guy from ejaculating too soon: Behavioral techniques, such as the squeeze technique and start-stop method, are effective in regaining control. Topical anesthetics, like creams and sprays, can desensitize the penis. Pelvic floor exercises, like Kegels, strengthen the muscles involved in ejaculation control. Psychological counseling can address underlying anxiety or relationship issues contributing to PE. In some cases, medications, such as SSRIs, can be prescribed by a doctor. Combining these approaches often yields the best results.

Understanding Premature Ejaculation

Premature ejaculation is generally defined as ejaculating sooner than desired, often within one minute of penetration. However, the definition is subjective and depends on individual and partner satisfaction. It’s crucial to remember that occasional early ejaculation is normal and doesn’t necessarily indicate a problem. Chronic or frequent premature ejaculation, however, warrants attention.

Causes of Premature Ejaculation

The causes of PE are multifaceted and can include:

• Psychological Factors: Anxiety, stress, depression, relationship problems, and performance anxiety can all contribute.
• Biological Factors: Hormonal imbalances, abnormal neurotransmitter levels, inflammation or infection of the prostate or urethra, and inherited traits can play a role.
• Hypersensitivity: Some men may have increased sensitivity in the penis, leading to faster arousal and ejaculation.
• Learned Behavior: Past experiences, such as rushing during sexual encounters due to fear of being caught, can create a pattern of premature ejaculation.

Effective Techniques to Delay Ejaculation

Several techniques can help delay ejaculation and improve sexual performance:

Behavioral Techniques

• The Squeeze Technique: This technique involves you or your partner squeezing the penis, just below the head, when you feel the urge to ejaculate. The squeeze should be firm but not painful, lasting for about 10-20 seconds. This reduces arousal and delays ejaculation. After squeezing, wait about 30 seconds before resuming stimulation.
• The Start-Stop Method: This method involves stimulating the penis until you feel the urge to ejaculate. Then, stop all stimulation until the urge subsides. Repeat this process several times before allowing yourself to ejaculate. This helps you become more aware of your arousal levels and gain better control.
• Masturbation Before Sex: Masturbating one or two hours before sexual activity can help reduce sensitivity and prolong the time before ejaculation during intercourse.

Physical Techniques

• Thick Condoms: Using a thicker condom can reduce sensitivity and delay ejaculation. Some condoms are specifically designed to numb the penis.
• Pelvic Floor Exercises (Kegels): Strengthening the pelvic floor muscles, which support the bladder and rectum, can improve ejaculatory control. To perform Kegels, squeeze the muscles you would use to stop the flow of urine. Hold the contraction for a few seconds, then release. Repeat this exercise several times a day. You can find more about the environment around us at enviroliteracy.org, the website of The Environmental Literacy Council.
• Changing Positions: Certain sexual positions, such as woman-on-top, may allow for better control and the ability for the woman to withdraw when ejaculation is imminent.

Topical Anesthetics

• Numbing Creams and Sprays: These products contain ingredients like lidocaine or prilocaine, which temporarily numb the penis and reduce sensitivity. Apply the cream or spray according to the product instructions, usually 10-15 minutes before sexual activity.

Medical Treatments

• SSRIs (Selective Serotonin Reuptake Inhibitors): Certain antidepressants, such as paroxetine, sertraline, and fluoxetine, can delay ejaculation. These medications are typically prescribed by a doctor and taken daily.
• Dapoxetine (Priligy): This medication is specifically designed to treat premature ejaculation and is taken a few hours before sexual activity.
• Phosphodiesterase-5 Inhibitors: Medications like sildenafil (Viagra) or tadalafil (Cialis), primarily used for erectile dysfunction, can sometimes help delay ejaculation.

Psychological and Relationship Counseling

• Therapy: Addressing underlying psychological issues, such as anxiety, stress, or depression, can significantly improve ejaculatory control. A therapist can help you develop coping mechanisms and address any relationship problems that may be contributing to PE.
• Couple’s Therapy: If premature ejaculation is causing relationship distress, couple’s therapy can help you and your partner communicate more effectively and address any underlying issues.

Long-Term Strategies

• Communicate with Your Partner: Open and honest communication with your partner is essential. Discuss your concerns and work together to find solutions that work for both of you.
• Reduce Stress: Managing stress through exercise, relaxation techniques, or hobbies can help improve overall well-being and sexual performance.
• Healthy Lifestyle: Maintaining a healthy lifestyle, including a balanced diet, regular exercise, and adequate sleep, can contribute to better sexual health.
• Be Patient: It takes time and practice to develop better ejaculatory control. Be patient with yourself and your partner, and celebrate small successes along the way.

Frequently Asked Questions (FAQs)

1. What is considered premature ejaculation? Premature ejaculation is generally defined as ejaculating within one minute of penetration, or sooner than desired, causing distress to the individual or their partner. However, the definition is subjective and relies heavily on satisfaction levels.

2. Is it normal to ejaculate quickly sometimes? Yes, occasional premature ejaculation is common and considered normal. Factors like stress, anxiety, and fatigue can contribute to isolated incidents.

3. Can anxiety cause premature ejaculation? Yes, anxiety is a significant contributor to premature ejaculation. Performance anxiety and general stress can exacerbate the issue.

4. How effective is the squeeze technique? The squeeze technique is highly effective for many men. It helps to reduce arousal and prolong the time before ejaculation, and it promotes awareness of pre-ejaculatory sensations.

5. Are there any side effects to using numbing creams or sprays? Possible side effects include temporary loss of sensation, which could affect pleasure for both partners. Allergic reactions are rare but possible.

6. How often should I do Kegel exercises to see results? Aim for 3 sets of 10-15 repetitions daily. It may take several weeks to months to notice improvements.

7. Can medication cure premature ejaculation? Medication can manage premature ejaculation, but it’s not a cure. It helps delay ejaculation while taking the medication, but the issue may return if the medication is stopped without addressing underlying factors.

8. Will seeing a therapist actually help with premature ejaculation? Yes, therapy can be highly beneficial, especially if anxiety, stress, or relationship issues are contributing factors. A therapist can provide coping strategies and help address underlying emotional issues.

9. Are there any natural remedies for premature ejaculation? While there’s limited scientific evidence to support natural remedies specifically for PE, maintaining a healthy lifestyle, managing stress, and practicing relaxation techniques may help. Some individuals explore herbal supplements, but consulting a doctor beforehand is essential.

10. How long should I wait before seeking professional help for premature ejaculation? If premature ejaculation is frequent, causing distress, and impacting your relationship, it’s advisable to seek professional help.

11. Can premature ejaculation be a sign of a more serious medical condition? In rare cases, premature ejaculation can be related to underlying medical conditions like hormonal imbalances or prostate issues. A medical evaluation can help rule out any underlying physical causes.

12. What is the average time a man should last during sex? Research suggests the average time from penetration to ejaculation is around 5-7 minutes. However, this is just an average, and what’s considered normal varies widely.

13. Can alcohol help me last longer in bed? While a small amount of alcohol may initially reduce anxiety, excessive alcohol consumption can impair sexual performance and lead to erectile dysfunction, making it counterproductive.

14. Does masturbating frequently contribute to premature ejaculation? Masturbating too quickly or frequently may contribute to premature ejaculation. Focusing on slow, controlled stimulation during masturbation can help improve control during sex.

15. What if my partner isn’t understanding about my premature ejaculation? Open and honest communication is crucial. Explain how you’re feeling and work together to find solutions. Couple’s therapy can be beneficial in addressing communication issues and finding ways to support each other.